Peppa PIG oink oink

Wow. It's Monday again already!

I had a really great weekend. Visitors, laughter, good food and a horrendously late night followed by a spot of patriotism. Which is rare for me. haha

I went with my friend and her little girl to see the Olympic torch pass by. (Which is really a last-in-this-lifetime opportunity for me if the moaners are to be believed. Ho-hum. Can't say it bothers me one way or the other.) What I wasn't expecting was to try and get myself arrested by swallowing at the wrong time (which sounds MUCH worse than it was, ooo-er) ..... eeeek!!! Standing at the roadside I was enjoying the shameless advertising of various decorated buses driving by (it's just NOT an event without a Coca-Cola bus!!!!) and the local police were being cheery and riding slowly on their motorbikes high-fiving excited children. One police officer spotted a very large Peppa Pig mascot and stopped in front of me and asked "is that Peppa Pig I see over there?"

You can imagine my horror when I blurted out "Yes!! It's the one and only Peppa ........ (insert horrid pause for choking on something invisible) PIG!!!!!!!!"

His face dropped. As did my heart. Into my feet. What do you do in that kind of situation? I meant no harm at all ... so I faked a coughing fit, turning his look of horror to one of concern .... job done!!

I was so flustered I almost didn't film the torch bearer .... hahaha.

The moral of this story children? Sometimes it's ok to lie to policemen .....

;)

Avarice in Wonderland

So today is my day off.

I am wrapped in a fleece, with the fire on while a storm rages outside that sounds like it may just shake the house to pieces and extract me, shrieking in my fleece coccoon, to a land where flying houses are fantastic witch deterrants.

I have gently steamed in a vast bubbly bath, with no cries of "mum ..can I (insert verious non-vital requests here)"

I have watched the yummy Zach and his cohorts frighten themselves silly in the dark. I have posted several bad taste music videos onto my FB account. I have consumed "no-one to "share" with" crisps, cookies and drank enough tea to fill a small paddling pool. (Altho it looks like the rain could have taken care of the pool today) I have displayed my prolific use of the dreaded "eff word" for all the world to see .... lol. And all from the New Improved Mum-Ra Ass Groove on the sofa.

I have studiously ignored the washing, ironing, dirty dishes, hoovering that taunt me on a daily basis. I am deaf to their miserable utterings. lol

For today, Matthew, one is indulging in self indulgence of the most indulgent kind. Today, I am Avarice in Wonderland, where the currency is Me-time and the profit is measured in slobbery!!!

And just for once, just for THIS once I DON'T feel guilty. So sue me .... hehe

;)

Too cool for home-school

So my daughter got an upset tummy. (When I was a kid, my mother used to make us go to school unless we had a limb hanging off. I suspect even in the event of a zombie apocalypse she'd have a crack at making us go .. ).

She thought it would comprise of glorious hours laid on the sofa playing Minecraft, watching DVD's and being waited on hand and foot...  and being read to by my shiny new kindle ... (erm, NO!!!)

The thing is, she's not actually ill. We have to follow school guidelines of not returning for 48 hours. So I got her school work. Lots and lots of school work. 

I've enjoyed maths, reading and a project on Florence nightingale. She has not.

Tomorrow we've got a collage to make, more maths and some word searches. I'm so excited.

Her teacher thinks I'm brill. Darling daughter thinks I'm a loser. 

A mean one. hehehehe

Writer's Blo(g)ck

Wow. I can actually re-introduce my backside to the sofa. Ass - meet sofa. Sofa meet derriere ....

It's been so ridiculously busy the last few days. 

It's been "the BIG show" ... which went so fantasically well that i blubbed all the way through it. Talk about PPS! (proud parent syndrome). My other half looked at me like I was mad. And that was only 10 seconds in!!!!! hehehe

I've had daughter off school with tummy trouble. Now, school policy is that you have to wait 48 hours before they can go back. So once she was better and in the "waiting days" I got her to keep up with school and do an extra report on why Florence Nightingale was famous .... Needless to say if she had her way I'd be NEEDING the ministrations of Miss Nightingale myself. If looks could kill ...... ;)

I've been spending a little Kindle time.... 'nuff said. I LOVE my DX .. It's so big and easy to read, I've found myself reading voraciously at any spare minute delivered to me, whether by design or accident. 

It's a blessing and a curse, that device. While I adore being able to just pick it up and have it magically bookmark my page, it will probab;y get me arrested for harbouring  a rare tribe of amazonian pygmies. 

Perhaps I should put DOWN the Kindle and mow the back lawn after all. 

:)

Run Mum-Ra, Run!

On the way to school this morning I had to RUN!!!! Like a Diva once famously "didn't do stairs" I don't do running. It's ungainly, I'm invariably wearing the wrong shoes and well, let's face it I look simply wrong doing it. ;)

Luckily this morning I was feeling pretty swanky sporting my new split toe trainers that I've been after for AGES and I got for a song! (yes!!)

My son ran around a corner at the end of which there is a bit of road that while I admit is not busy, it's a haven for late-for-school run mums in huge cars that they can't park who have their heads up their arses to boot .... so I flew to catch up with him thinking the worst and swearing under my breath .... I hurdled one small child who had no idea to GET OUT OF THE WAY(!!!!!) startled two girls talking about Will I Am and almost vaulted a closed gate (and all to imaginary Mission Impossible music) to find him nonchalantly waiting on the corner a safe 3 feet from the road waiting carefully ...... good boy! 

(little git) hahahahahahaha

;)

Fax-olotl and the worm farm

The kids started pester power in earnest about 2 years ago wanting pets. Dogs, cats, fish, rabbits .... anything would do just as long as it came under the title "pet" ....

So we started the trips to the nearest chain of pet stores, coo-ing over bunnies and chinchillas. Whch are fine and cute and cuddly and all that. But they stink. Really, really stink to me.

(I guess this is the time that I should confess that I sniff things. A lot. An olfactory obsession if you will. I have been likened to a dog for my sense of smell before. Altho unlike dogs I draw the line at butt-sniffing. haha. I walk into someone's home and discreetly SMELL it. I sniff babies, animals, soft furnishings, food, people, the air, anything that can hold an odour and I will have a smell of it. Matchbox strike strips, the petrol station and the paper you used to get in the top of a packet of cigs are my most interesting smells. And I don't even smoke or have enough money to fill my car!! hahahaha. No wonder they keep chasing me away from the petrol station forecourt - "Bob, get security - she's at it again" hahahahaha.)

I can smell the sugary difference between coke and diet coke and so it's easy for me to tell who's coffee is who's ...."sniff" .... lol.

Anyhoo, I digress. So we decided on fish. But I thought them too dull. So I rescued an Axolotl - which is a cool amphibian that looks like a cross between a lizard and a moose - from Freecycle (a great little site where people give away their stuff for free). We brought him home, cleaned up the tank, added some Axy friendly stuff, and that was that. Once he stopped sulking at being brought home he just fits right in and has become a cool little addition to our family. HE walks on his back legs, balances on his tail for food, watches TV and stares at me for hours on an evening. lol No-one else we know has one so the kids have got "instant cool". hahahaha

The big draw back? He eats fresh worms, so I had to buy a wormery AND IT STINKS!!!!!!

;)

Kith and Kindle ... ;)

So, today I went to meet a new friend. She's clever and very funny. And she's got a Kindle. (sounds like bloody Charlie and Lola, hehe)

I've been resisting the Kindle. Vehemently. As far as I'm concerned books should be slightly fusty and smell funny and yellow with age and not bother if you drop them in the bath. Or down the stairs. I like old books, and wrinkly second hand books, and shelves FULL of books. And kids books with massive covers that cover your legs when you read them. I'm in the minority, sadly. My darling daughter saw a consumer report on e-readers and has been dropping hints ever since ...

 "oh, my book is SO heavy ...... " cue 'the big eyes' ....  "I've bent the page in this book ...." cue 'the big eyes' 

And today I succumbed and used my last pennies on a bloody kindle. All because I mentioned someone said how good they were ... and suddenly the WHOLE family started dropping kindle related hints ... cue more 'big eyes' than an Anime festival ..... .

So I give in. They can have a Kindle. I'm off for a bath. With my book. ;)